I Don't Know How You Do It

Almost every day someone tells me, "I don't know how you do it." It always gives me pause. I know it's a compliment. People see me multi-tasking at home and work, balancing roles of mom and businesswoman, wife and health case manager. I am those things and I am thankful for the praise.

However, I always feel compelled to set the record straight. I AM NOT DOING IT!! Instead I'd love to be able to let others know...

1. Self-satisfaction from task completion fuels my pride. There are many times someone says, "I don't know how you do it" or a related compliment and inside I'm dancing, "oh yeah, oh, yeah...I'm good, I'm good". Being responsible is in my DNA and I like having a reputation for getting a lot of things done.

But, I recognized I was getting a little too puffed up. I took too much pleasure in the praise of my actions, feeding my ego and pride. I started to get little internal pricks that something wasn't quite right. And, I'd be lying if I didn't say there have been times when I feared a chip in my veneer. I've secretly thought, "Uh oh... I can't let them see how I might not be doing everything they think I am." I learned I was too concerned with my protecting my pride. In my beliefs, pride and arrogance are pretty much the worst offenses. "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (Another rub...I like it a little too much when people call me wise too...)

2. I am not my accomplishments. My love language is acts of service. I like doing things for others. I can administrate and I find myself in leadership positions often. Yet my worth and who I am is not about what I've gotten done each day. How sad it is when I end the day feeling bad about myself because I didn't get enough done. Worse, I pick on Chris at times because in my eyes he may not have gotten enough done that day. I am not where I need to be on this one, but I continue to remind myself that I am not "justified by my works."

3. It's through God not me. That's what I tell myself when you say this to me. You can't see it, but inside I'm like a rap star getting a Grammy whose first move on stage is to point upward. I do this to neutralize the temptation of self-centeredness. I didn't wire myself with the ability to organize things...God did. This is easiest to grasp on the days when I hear, "I don't know how you do it", and my first response is, "I don't know how I do it either!"

Why don't I tell you these things when you say, "I don't know how you do it"? Well, I receive your compliment and know you have no idea the complexity of my perspective in this area. It's also not socially appropriate for me to go so deep on you in the hallway at work or somewhere! There are many reasons I'm thankful for who I am and if I always remember from whom the real strength comes from, everything's okay.